Sunday, October 27, 2013
Relationship Advice for When it's Just Not Working / How to Break Up with your Girlfriend or Boyfriend
I know it seems like I've had a lot of boyfriends in my high school career, but in all honesty, I've only had six, and I have dumped every one of them. The reasoning is that I have never found anyone who I could even vaguely imagine myself marrying, which I know seems extremely dramatic considering I am only 17. But my grandmother told me to never date someone if you cannot picture yourself marrying them. So that is exactly what I have done because it is so true.
But sometimes you care about your partner a lot and you really do like them. You just do not wish to stay in a relationship with them. And it is not because they are doing things wrong, it is just because they are not your type. Their personality just doesn't work with yours, and there's nothing you can do about it.
I broke up with my boyfriend today for this exact reason. He was great; mature, open minded, smart, intellectual.. But he just wasn't what I was looking for in a boyfriend.
I am very independent and a free spirit, which my artistic lifestyle implies. He was none of that. He liked having a schedule, he was very orderly and high strung. I was loose and level headed. He was emotional and dramatic. I loved to paint and draw and admire small things. He walked right past them and didn't understand why I would even stop. He didn't understand art, which isn't the problem. The problem is that he made no effort to try and understand my life. He would just nod his head and say, "Okay," and so on and so forth..The point is, we weren't working because our personalities weren't working. And there's not much you can do about that.
So how did I end it? Because, what was I going to tell him? "I'm breaking up with you just because I don't like your personality." That would seem like a huge pile of horse crap.
So I simply laid it out, I called him and told him these exact words;
"Listen, you have just been yourself throughout this entire relationship, which is fantastic. And I have just been myself, but the thing is, our personalities don't go well together. I'm sorry, but they don't. You're honestly not my type. And I don't want to ask you to change who you are for me, because you deserve someone who will adore you for YOU. Please don't take this personally, you are a great, handsome man and I like you a lot. I just like you too much to tell you to change so that I can be romantically compatible with you. We are great as friends, but as more than that, we just don't click. And I would be surprised if you don't get where I'm coming from, because I'm sure you feel it too. There just aren't sparks. I'm sorry, [his name]."
And now we are still very good friends!
Best of luck,
It Girl
But sometimes you care about your partner a lot and you really do like them. You just do not wish to stay in a relationship with them. And it is not because they are doing things wrong, it is just because they are not your type. Their personality just doesn't work with yours, and there's nothing you can do about it.
I broke up with my boyfriend today for this exact reason. He was great; mature, open minded, smart, intellectual.. But he just wasn't what I was looking for in a boyfriend.
I am very independent and a free spirit, which my artistic lifestyle implies. He was none of that. He liked having a schedule, he was very orderly and high strung. I was loose and level headed. He was emotional and dramatic. I loved to paint and draw and admire small things. He walked right past them and didn't understand why I would even stop. He didn't understand art, which isn't the problem. The problem is that he made no effort to try and understand my life. He would just nod his head and say, "Okay," and so on and so forth..The point is, we weren't working because our personalities weren't working. And there's not much you can do about that.
So how did I end it? Because, what was I going to tell him? "I'm breaking up with you just because I don't like your personality." That would seem like a huge pile of horse crap.
So I simply laid it out, I called him and told him these exact words;
"Listen, you have just been yourself throughout this entire relationship, which is fantastic. And I have just been myself, but the thing is, our personalities don't go well together. I'm sorry, but they don't. You're honestly not my type. And I don't want to ask you to change who you are for me, because you deserve someone who will adore you for YOU. Please don't take this personally, you are a great, handsome man and I like you a lot. I just like you too much to tell you to change so that I can be romantically compatible with you. We are great as friends, but as more than that, we just don't click. And I would be surprised if you don't get where I'm coming from, because I'm sure you feel it too. There just aren't sparks. I'm sorry, [his name]."
And now we are still very good friends!
Best of luck,
It Girl
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